Every year, one out of five American families move. One of
the most important issues to anyone with kids is their
reaction to the news that they're moving, and their adjustment
to the new home. Being informed is very important to children.
One of the worst mistakes we can make as adults is to assume
that kids don't care or won't understand the details. Keeping
them "in the loop," consulting them about choices whenever
possible, and including them in the family game plan will work
wonders toward their adjustment.
Other factors depend on the child's age:
Preschool children:
Kids under the age of six may worry about being left behind, or
being separated from their parents. If you go on an orientation
or house-hunting trip beforehand without the children, it's
important to reassure kids this age that you will be back; bring
something unique back to them from the new town. It's very
important for them to express their feelings and fears about the
move. Give them a job to do -- have them be responsible for
boxing up their favorite toys, and "labeling" their boxes with
crayons and stickers.
Ages 6 to 12:
Elementary age kids are usually most concerned with how the
everyday routines of their lives are going to change. Showing
them pictures, videos and magazines of their new home will help a
lot, especially if you can find new places in advance for the
things they like to do. If your child takes dance lessons, find
& share information about the new dance studio she can go to. If
he takes karate, or plays soccer or baseball...even if her
favorite thing to do is the park or the pizza parlor, find these
places in your new neighborhood and get brochures, pictures or
videos.
Teenagers:
These kids are most concerned with fitting in. They may react
angrily to the move, even insist they're not going. This is
usually due to the total lack of control they have over
everything important in their lives--friends, school & jobs--
being disrupted. These children can be very worried about making
new friends, and what will be different in the new school. They
are curious about the clothing, hairstyles, bicycles, cars, etc.
that kids in the new city will have. Pictures of all these things
are very helpful, so if you take an orientation trip be sure to
take many detailed photos/videos of the schools they will be
attending.
Other tips for making the transition:
- Give young children an entertaining travel kit for the move.
- Give older children a diary for recording the trip & move.
- Give children of all ages a special address book & stationary
set for keeping up with old friends.
- Take videos of the new home if the kids won't get to see it
before the move. Arrive well before the movers so kids can
explore and become acquainted first.
- Give children a chore to do, such as working on their room
(younger), supervising little siblings (middle), and painting
or arranging furniture (older kids).
- Take a break with the family as soon as possible to explore
the museums, sights and recreation in your new city.
- Arrange a visit to new schools and a meeting with the teacher
before the actual first day of attendance.
- Encourage the children to bring new friends home.
